teeeeeee

thanks!

2008-08-25T14:33:56Z

thanks for all the help with the ac talk. i ended up going to the pool. and walked right in. bc i knew someone who worked at harras. which was pretty cool bc there was like a 2 hour long wait. and we didnt have to pay the cover. but all in all it was a banging night from what i can remember! lol but thanks for the advice. i advise everyone to try the pool!

being single isnt always the best

2008-07-29T02:05:42Z

i hate going to bed alone. im off to bed to just lay there. who knows when i may fall asleep..

ohtoeknee @ 2008-07-26T14:56:00

2008-07-26T18:59:07Z

I didn't say I was different or better. I'm not. Hell, I sympathize; I sympathize completely. Apathy is the solution. I mean, it's easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It's easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It's easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. Hell, love costs: it takes effort and work

so i havent updated this in FOREVER and i dont really have much time. but im single. im not sure how i feel about it yet. i got 2 kitties<3

they are the best kitties in the world<33 and i dont even like cats, lol.

at my moms

2008-04-03T20:36:29Z

so im trying to figure out how to ask my parents if i can move back home. but im a pussy. so i wait and wait to do things. wtf i found the mission 101 today so im attempting to put a list together i cant wait to finish the list so i can start on it. hum thats all. im starving.

wtf is going on

2008-03-27T21:01:00Z

so its been a while since ive posted on this. things have been a little crazy. i feel as i have applied to every place in south jersey and philly. and i have got no response. i dont know what more to do. i need a job. im el brokeo. im also in the middle of trying to move back home. but thats not going so well either. im at the college right now, i just applied to about 15 more jobs. i dont know what it is. i have NEVER had a problem getting a job. i would usually apply to 3 at the most and all 3 would call me. now i cant get one damn call back. wtf. i really want to work in the city somewhere within walking distance of the train. i really love the city. i wish someone would just call me and say, "toni we love you come work for me in the city. its a great job and you will love it. and the pay isnt that bad you will be able to survive on it" and i would take it. but no, no calls for me. i guess i will be a loser forever. if anyone knows of a place hiring please. let me know!! i will love you forever. i can do pretty much any job out there. ive had a few already so i have alot of experince with all different things. ugh. its depressing.
what else is sad, is the picture i posted last the thing i made for lindsey. i worked really hard on it and i loved it. it was one of my favorite things i have ever made. but me and lindsey got into a screaming match and i was FURIOUS and i freaked out and ripped it all into pieces. it makes me really sad. i think i may be crazy. actually i know i am.

ohtoeknee @ 2008-03-20T13:54:00

2008-03-20T18:02:50Z

today didnt start off on the best foot. i had a horrible dream last night so i got out of bed and slept on the floor. i think im crazy sometimes. it was probably from watching 30 days of night before i went to sleep. i dont like scary movies, but lindsey loves them.
im sad that its cold out i wanted to go for another bike ride. yesterday lindsey and i went for a bike ride for 3 hours. it was fun. it started to down pour and get crazy and then there were these hills. ugh i thought i was just to just roll back down. we stopped for lunch and got some pizza. i was craving it. there were also these really good cheese fries there. im actually craving them lol. but all in all it was a good day. we found out that it was 14 miles. damnnnn crazyness i never would have thought i could ride a bike for 14 miles.
so im attempting to quit smoking again. its been 2 days, but i had one today.when i crave one and i smoke im fine after that. its weird. i dont want to smoke more. that 1 does it for me. but eventually i want to not smoke at all.
i need to find a job, ive been applying everywhere but i havent heard anything. i hate not having money. ughh

update
so ive been trying to keep myself busy. i need a cigg. its driving me crazy. ive eaten the whole kitchen im going to get fat. i tried to occupy myself i made a collage thing for lindsey for our 15 months im waiting for the picture to up load and then ill put it on here. fuck it. im going to smoke.

st patties dayyy<3

2008-03-17T18:18:23Z

i finally just got off the phone with my mom, that woman can talk. i think i may have said all together 1 sentence. oh well. im craving a bonte waffle. really bad. i think moving to the city may be bad for me. i wont stop eating. pizza, ice cream, WAFFLES, all of it blocks away. so i applied at the mood, it was weird. im not one to talk openly about sex. so it will be an experience for sure. but i need a job. asap. its been way to long unemployeed. im not in the city often but i want to work there. i just dont really know how to find out who is hiring. most places dont put it on the web. just signs on the door. boo.
today is the last st patties day i will be spend not at the bar. i feel so close to being 21. but its just not close enough. im like counting down and there is stil almost 5 months left. any ways. im starving. but what else is new. i wish i could eat and be full for more then an hour.
so i found out about next weeks l word and im soooo sad. molly is def better then nikki. ew.
we also watched loving anabelle. it was a really good movie but the ending sucked. it was horrible!!!
well i need to find food. now before i freak out

leg warmers and waffles

2008-03-16T18:10:08Z

its nice to know when people are on the shit list they actually try to kiss ass. its always nice getting your ass kissed. :) so we went to the city yesterday. i LOVE the city. i wish i had the money to move there. id sell my car any day and use public transportation. ughh. so my lady took me to the city to get my waffle that i have been craving. and we just walked around the gayberhood. i love being able to walk down the street and hold her hand and not have to hear snickering. i had fun, we tried on some crazy glasses and looked at some boots.

we walked so much my leg started to hurt. im so out of shape. its sad but since she is getting back into shape for the academy its making me get into shape. ive cut down on the pork roll and cheese on a bagel sandwiches. i used to eat like 3 a week. atleast. now im lucky if i have one a week. it saddens me a little. lol but ive lost weight. thats always a good thing. we picked up the train at a different station then usual, so when we were heading home we werent paying attention for the right stop. so we missed it. haha it was a weird moment. you would have thought i was on drugs. so we got back on the other train to go back. lol
then some stupid boy mumbles to his stupid friend, you should tell her there is room to sit on your lap. like wtf you see im with my GIRLFRIEND. boys just arent the smartest. anyways so it was a good night
we finished it with renting sydney white. i highly suggest it. it was the cutest movie ever. i may watch it again. it made me cheese!

say something. anything. just speak

2008-03-15T07:00:21Z

i dont understand how people are so closed minded. how can people live in a fairy tale world and think that nothing bad happens there? what makes them invincible. how can they not see or care whats going on in the real world. whats going on in THEIR world. do they think if they dont say it out loud then its not true? the world is filled with bad people, and bad actions. pretending its not there doesnt make it go away. saying something, standing up and saying no to it. thats what stops it. women didnt get their rights by sitting around and saying ''one day these men will just give us rights and look at us equal'' they went out and said something and stood up for their rights that they deserved, that we deserve. your right nothing changes over night, and the small things we do today we may not see the results. but in days, months, and years to come. we will, one day we will see those results. you have to choose your battles wisely. but not picking any, is just as bad as picking the wrong one. stand up for yourself. stand up for what you believe in. stand up for me.

im not looking for an arguement
im not looking for your agreement
im looking for your opinion.
you have to believe in something.

im listening sally

2008-03-14T18:13:12Z

i really want to know what makes one person better than another.
what makes one religion better then another.
what political party is better then the other.

its simple.
let me state that i do not believe in a certain religion

''that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life''
the religion that accepts people for who they are. the religion that doesn't preach hate, and discrimination. the religion that loves people for who they are inside. not what they look like on the outside, or who they love. ANY religion that preaches hate and violence towards any other group of people for any reason is not a real religion. i don't care who or what you pray to or what book of enlightenment you read as long as you accept people for who they are inside. ill never say being christian is better then being jewish. i don't think one religions god loves more then the other. what ever religion you are thats great. i think its amazing to see familys bringing their children up with some sort of religion. giving them morals and values and teaching them to respect themselves and others. thats what religion should teach. you go into a church and you hear them preach how 'god loves us all' 'he forgives all' but then you leave church and throw it out the window. i have no problem if someone wants to sit and talk to me about their religious views. i would love to learn more about your religion. but don't tell me that what i believe is wrong. don't tell me that i am wrong.

equality-the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability

i learned at an early age in school that you don't mix church and state. you need to un bias. i feel like we are back in germany and hitler is taking over again. only blond hair green eyes. all gays and lesbians, blacks, handy caps, muslim, jewish and everyone else that isnt a devout christian. we as a country have fought so hard for our freedom and for equality. but it seems to be diminishing more and more everyday. when i look at my equality sticker on my window i dont think. ''i wonder how many people i can convert to be gay today.' i look at it and think that one day everyone will have one on their car. and no sally not because i want the whole world to turn gay. but because i want everyone to believe in equality. i hate that there is discrimination because of who you fall in love with.
what bothers me the most are parents that hate their children for being gay. why? why do you hate them. to have that feeling of love. to look into someones eyes, and see that they truly whole heartedly love you. its an amazing feeling. it shouldnt matter who it is. a parent would rather their daughter be with some piece of shit guy that cheats on her then her be with a woman. why.

should gays be allowd to adopt children.
no lets keep all these kids in foster care where they dont get the attention and love. because 2 women and 2 men can possibly properly care for a child. if that is the case. then every father who lost his wife during child birth, we need to take their child. he cant possibly properly care for that child and that child needs a mother. and all those single moms out there because the father walked about because he doesnt give a shit. take those kids too because they will be fucked up kids with out a father. if a single mom and a single dad can raise kids and they grow up fine. why cant 2 moms or 2 dads raise kids?? just because a child is raised by 2 moms doesnt mean it they will be a man hater. and vise versa. and being gay and raising kids will NOT make your kids gay. like come on seriously. my parents are straight and i am gay. every child out there should have the chance at a family. they deserve a chance to have parents who love them, no matter if it is a mom and dad, a mom and mom or a dad and dad. if it wasnt for my mom me and my siblings wouldnt have done sports. she taught us and took us to games and practices and even taught the teams. and yea she is straight. everyone has a different kind of love to give.

when i have kids, i hope the world has changed for the better and people like sally kern arent in a political power. i dont care if my kids are gay, lesbian, striaght, or even transgender. of course it would be easier for them if they were straight because this is a rough world to live in and if they are gay they will be ridiculed and discriminated against. but i will teach my kids to be strong and to be comfortable with themselves and know that who ever they are is okay and i will still love them.

a thought, i kiss a girl and the whole world freaks out, but if a priest touches a little boy we turn a blind eye.
funny how things are in this society.

''28% of gay and lesbian high school students in a national study were seen to have dropped out of school because of harrassment resulting from their sexual orientation''